.png)
Dictionary.com’s Word of the Year for 2024 is … “demure”. That’s right, the word that evokes images of women coyly averting their gaze, politely clasping their hands, and gently whispering “thank you, sir” so as barely to be heard. How did this happen, you ask?
In case you are not familiar with viral TikToker Jools Lebron, aka @joolieannie, she vaulted the term into fame with her catchy, if mildly infuriating, mantra: “very demure, very mindful.” Add a sprinkle of “cutesy” and “considerate”, and voilà—demure is back, baby!
But can we have a word about this word?!
Let’s get one thing straight: there’s nothing inherently wrong with being modest or respectful—except when it’s served up as a Victorian throwback instruction manual for women. Are we really circling back to the idea that “good girls” win the day by being quiet, unassuming, and utterly void of opinions louder than a whisper?
The timing of demure’s meteoric rise says a lot about our culture. We’ve just spent decades championing female empowerment and breaking glass ceilings, only to have a TikTok trend remind us that we should also, you know, smile sweetly while cleaning up the shards. The obsession with demure advice—particularly in professional settings—raises an eyebrow (very subtly, of course). Women are already walking a tightrope between being assertive enough to be heard but not so assertive they’re intimidating. Now, apparently, we need to master the art of being demure and mindful while we’re at it. Super.
Here at hertelier, self-advocacy is one of the most important topics we cover—because it’s critical for women to own their power, particularly in professional spaces. We write regularly about the challenges of getting women to take up more space, not less, whether that’s by confidently speaking up in meetings or negotiating their worth. Just last month at the Independent Hotel Show Miami, the idea of “leading like a girl” made headlines during a panel about advancing women in hospitality, reinforcing how women are redefining leadership as bold, unapologetic, and collaborative.
And that’s where “demure” starts to feel like a big step backward. Encouraging young women to be thoughtful, considerate, and respectful is fine—but let’s balance that with equal enthusiasm for being bold, loud, and unapologetically ambitious. If demure is the word of the year, then maybe badass can have 2025.
Until then, here’s a tip for the workplace: be demure, daring, or whatever feels right—just make it yours. And if someone suggests you tone it down? Take a deep breath, thank them politely, and then make your voice—and your impact—impossible to ignore.