The Best Lesson in Self-Expression Is From Timothée Chalamet

Timothée Chalamet…definitely the kind of name Adam Sandler would have a field day with and actually did at this year’s Golden Globes.  Thanks to the show’s host, comedian Nikki Glaser, egging him on, I can’t unhear Sandler’s signature, guttural interpretation “ah Shalomayyy”… and I’ll bet either can the actor himself, who genuinely seemed to enjoy the laughs at his expense.

Although his next appearance during the run up to the Oscar’s, was no laughing matter at the SAG Awards. From an article for GQ by Ben Allen, “Jaws literally dropped as Chalamet’s name was called out for the best actor award, beating expected winner Adrien Brody. His speech was a rare, refreshing gem.”

It’s Chalamet’s speech that the media is buzzing about now…even more so than his award-winning performance as music legend, Bob Dylan… 

“Timothée Chalamet Did Something Many Actors Are Afraid To Do In His Unconventional Acceptance Speech At The SAG Awards, And People Are Seriously Impressed” – Ellen Durney, BuzzFeed

“Timothée Chalamet Wants to ‘Be One of the Greats’ — And He Was Right to Say It“– Alison Herman, Variety

“Timothée Chalomet’s overt pursuit of greatness is a refreshing break from faux ‘who me?’ humility” – Finn McRedmond, The Irish Times

“Was Timothée Chalamet’s SAG Award Speech Endearingly Honest or Manosphere-Enabled Overconfidence” – Emma Specter, Vogue

If you missed it, check out this link and see for yourself what all the fuss is about.   At first, my cringe-meter did start to go off, but as Chalamet continued to speak, I got no sense of arrogance or overconfidence as he owned his truth.  Geez, if a guy talking openly and honestly about his accomplishments and aspirations is this newsworthy, can you imagine if a woman had delivered a similar speech!?!

Between societal pressure to appear humble, fear of being perceived as bragging, discomfort with self-promotion and impostor syndrome, most women—myself included—tend to downplay acknowledging and celebrating our personal achievements.  In unpacking this topic, I found the responses to this question posed on Reddit to be incredibly insightful: “Why do you think women downplay their successes?”

Leaena9 who posed the original question shares, “I'm doing really well at uni but I find myself acting and saying things like I'm not. I was reading some articles on possible reasons why and the main reason is low self-confidence in women. I don't necessarily feel that applies to me because I am confident in what I can do, I just don't want other people to know. It's almost like I fear how people would perceive me if they knew I am doing well or that I fear some repercussion from my success.”

An unnamed contributor writes, “I worry people might envy me or think I'm rubbing it in. Esp with men I often find myself trying not to make them feel like I'm better than them and I hate that I do that because I don't want to make myself small. It shouldn't be my concern if people are happy with their life choices but I actively downplay my achievements, to make them feel better. And then I complain that people don't respect me but how could they if I don't even respect myself. I totally need to work on that.” Well, unnamed contributor, I’ve been working on it for a while.

In my experience, there’s a palpable difference in delivery between someone who’s bragging and simply acknowledging.  I actually wrote a few columns on the subject, most recently Speak to "Express" Not to "Impress" . 

And that’s what Chalamet did in his speech…he spoke to express, not impress and in so doing provided inspiration for many of us to do the same. Thumbs up to you, Tim-ow-tay ah Shalomayy!